Today, I was looking for a song to dedicate to my childhood friend. I was lucky enough to have found the song "Wing Beneath My Wings" which was used in the movie Beaches. The lyrics struck a chord in me and as words are one of the things in this world with the most effect on me, it led me to find out more about the plot of the movie that had this song on its soundtrack. A quick look up on Wikipedia resulted in me saturating my mind with the story of two life-long friends who loved and hated, cared and despised, betrayed and rescued each other. It was a good story-line, and very realistic too. From the top of my head, I can already name some of the friends I have with whom I have a similar sort of relationship, at least from my eyes. One of the main characters, CC, is someone I can relate to. Apparently, she's a star in the eyes of the world, but in essence she is a very selfish person. It was interesting to see how she lost the man she loved, gained him back and lost him again. With her career as her main purpose in life, people around her, even her own mother, got sidetracked. But oh did she bounce back up! Despite the calamities that befell her, she kept on going, kept on singing, kept on being successful.
I wonder if people who are selfish have a higher rate of recovery from sadness? It seems to be a rather crude proposition of an opinion from such an immature person like me. But somehow, it's a rather accurate description for a number of people out there. Life has to go on, dreams to be pursued, new continents have to be conquered. Oh wait.. Are my thoughts bordering on ambition now? There is a thin, vague line separating ambition from self-centeredness, and the two often go hand in hand. Even feelings can be pushed aside by a person who knows what her priorities are. I am unsure if I am as selfish as CC was in the movie as I have not watched it yet, so there is no telling how we correlate. I am also unsure if I am selfish from the core of my heart.
I used to think I had no backbone of my own. I used to despise myself for letting others step on my head. But I was wrong afterall. I do have some good qualities afterall, which I will focus on nurturing. Lots of people do look down on me, but they never took the time to get to know me. And for some of them, it's too late now.
It rained so heavily outside today. When it rains, it pours. But it cleanses the soul. God sends down those droplets of water to drench us with a realisation that after the cold and the wet have dissipated away, we can start our lives anew in His grace.
I'm dying to watch Beaches after my exams! (With a box of tissues at the ready of course!)