Purpose

I woke up from my sleep today with almost nothing to wake up for. My professor emailed me last night asking me to return a paper, and my pHd supervisor has asked me for my lab book. Save for these two items to bring over to school, I have absolutely nothing else to do. For the past 11 weeks of the autumn term, I've been so caught up with my research project, carrying out experiments, preparing for my presentation and writing up my report that I've excluded myself from my friends and the ongoings around me. My entire life for the past 11 weeks has been confined in a laboratory, with a project I initially hated, then grew to love and take ownership of. It has been an amazing journey, I had a great partner, who contributed his all to our work and was passionate during our presentation. I had a great professor, whose excitement for science actually rubbed off me! Our research group consisted of amazing pHd students too, who week after week, gave us lots of encouragement and support through their constructive comments and suggestions. Yesterday, my partner and I barely met our deadline, just 2 minutes away from the exact submission time. We were breathless and excited. Closure was there for us. That was all we required.

It felt so strange today, waking up and knowing that there is no more research project for me to worry about. An emptiness surrounded me. I dragged myself out of my bed, took a long and hot shower and just indulged in the time I finally have for myself. Time alone is all I want.
Suddenly, the urgency of my handsome supervisor needing his paper back hit me square in the face. I braved myself out of the hot shower and made my way to school. God has been really good to me. In fact, I actually have another coursework deadline to chase, but my partner has finished it up. Needless to say, that contributed to my blissful sleep last night.

A friend has asked me to join him and a few others to celebrate the end of term, but I made some excuse to avoid joining them. Finally, I have time to breathe and I'm not going to give it up today.

Brr(right)... Be Bright!

Cold was the day, so cold that my poor stomach was hungry all day, from morning to night. I've been loading myself with carbs the entire day, so insatiable was my appetite that I finished my poor lovely roomates' cereal! (He's such a kind spirit, but I pity him because he has to bear with such a greedy sister :P ) Thank you kor, if you're reading this! 

Anyways, this country is constantly cold even when it's not winter. Four years of bracing myself through the chill has not taught my receptors to be more resistant to the weather here. My skin cracks, the strands of my hair repel each other from similar electrostatic charges whenever I apply friction to them, my lips bleed, my eyes become blood shot from all the late nights dedicated to chasing coursework deadlines and I feel like a piece of meat. Yet, this is a living a privileged life, there is only this much to complain about. All these small things that will cease to be significant as time passes by, when I've found my greater purpose, which I still strongly believe in. 

Me busy now? My life, hard? Let a mother with five children show me the meaning of busy. Let a bony rickshaw puller on the hot streets of home tell me what hard is. Or the cleaning lady who sweeps the compounds of the school in which her child attends. Or the stock-up guy who sprains his ankle while unloading heavy packages from the warehouse for the retailer. How very much detached are our lives, how arrogant a spin my mind has taken from the hardships I've seen with my very eyes. All the blessings I've received I do not deserve. All goodness comes from God. Once in a while, when I sigh and fret way too much, He comes by and gives me a slight slap on the face to remind me how fortunate I am, just to be feeling a little bit of cold.