Sunday, January 30, 2011

Direction? Meaning?

All my life, I grew up surrounded by Muslim friends. They have this old adage, "Humans can plan, but it is God who decides". These words can never be truer. People plan for different reasons. Some plan because they have high expectations of themselves and they are motivated by success. Some plan because they have dreams to fulfill. Some plan because they were born organized. There are a myriad of reasons as to why a person would plan.

God often plays a game of irony. Sometimes it can seem wicked but all He does is love us. He loves us so much that He alone decides what is good for us, all for His own reasons. I have detached myself from God for a long time now, I feel as though I have lost His strong presence in my heart. Worldly worries have taken its toll on me and I am eager to retrace my steps, to listen to His voice buried deep within me.

Recently, I have been betrayed. And this betrayal brought with it a disturbing lost of direction and meaning in life. Nevertheless, it is also a reminder that I am lost now because I shook God away. But lo and behold, He never left my side, not for a single second. He breathes into my being, making me stronger than ever. He is calling me back to His side, the lost little sheep.

Thank you Jesus for always being there for me. Please take care of my beloved family for through them, I believe in You. I am who I am today because of my family. Please bless them Lord =)

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Saudade

"Congratulations Lucy, I have a gift for you!" Those were the words spoken by God to me. I heard them in the dead of the night.

He came silently to repay me for the many times in which I was unkind, heartless, dependent and selfish. The gift He brought was a retribution for all the past wrongs I have committed. Being an ever forgiving Father, I can clearly see that it's a gift afterall. It is the time now to teach myself to be kind, full of heart, independent and selfless.

Is it not amazing how fickle life can seem at times? How random everything is? Strong feelings get washed in gradual waves, people come and go, everything moves, motion dominates. If you close your eyes and run from reality for an extended period of time, upon your return, everything is different. You got your moment alone while you were away, but upon returning, you have been forgotten.

Promises are just words, spoken for reassurance. Only God, family and true friends are forever true to you.