Thursday, May 5, 2011

Building a Fence Around Myself

A coincidence occurred today. In the evening, someone called me to go out to have some ice-cream together. I was tempted at first, and slightly pressured to go but I reminded myself that I have my priorities, I have to guard myself and at the same time, guard that person from me. I find it extremely hard to reject the requests of other people, but lately, I am more resolved to form a backbone of my own. Later at night, another person texted me to meet up this weekend. I almost relented but I reminded myself again of who I am, what I strive to be. I want my independence back. I want my time alone again.

At the same time, I'm afraid if I'm shunning away from people who could really be nice to me. However, there are more important things for me to do now. I need to define myself with my own terms. I can laugh and smile to the world, but at the end of the day, I have no one true person to share the core of my soul with. I want to look for the right person, when the time comes. I can't spare time for people who don't even know what they want for their future. Yes, I am building a fence around myself but that can't necessarily be a bad thing :)

On a totally random note, something funny happened today that brought a big smile to my face. I wanted to buy this Galaxy Caramel Chocolate Egg and it was the last one on display. I brought it to the counter but it wouldn't scan and the lady cashier kept urging me to get another type (I didn't want the Creme Eggs though). I amiably complained to her that that was the only egg I wanted and yayyyyy in the end! She said, "Oh bother, I'll sell this to you for 0.20p. It's got to be eaten anyway by someone and it might as well be you. You're skinny enough as you are already. Here you go darling!" I was so happy I kept smiling to myself. The egg was good and I plan to get a Lindor one soon! I almost hugged the lady cashier! She was so sweet.

Now, I miss mom :(

But I'm still happy!

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