Lust Mistaken for Love?

Recently, I had a very disturbing conversation with a close friend. She told me a story of how one of her friends got into a relationship involving a lot of sex outside marriage. I was shocked to see how many of my course mates at univ partake in these acts as well. It happens all around until people tell me it's 'normal'.

It is one thing when both a guy and girl agree to do it, and even take pleasure in it. I accept this now. I always thought a girl would be unwilling to give herself up but right now, at this instance I realize how many girls do not respect their own bodies.

However, there are cases when a girl feels forced/compelled to engage in such impure activities. Perhaps she is in a relationship with a very insecure control freak who imposes himself on her, and no matter how badly she feels, she has to give in. A girl might also feel that these impure acts are part of the relationship, or is not strong enough to stand up for what she believes in.

Regardless of the scenario, I believe that there is one truth that holds. I recently stumbled upon a passage on my friends blog. Let me rephrase here:

Sex outside of marriage can never happen due to true love. True love would never cause harm or discomfort to another party and jeopardize another's well being. Pre-marital sex would devalue a girl's worth (in a world where the word 'virgin' only applies to a woman!), thus causing direct detriment to her well being. How then can a boy who commands for sex from his girlfriend truly love her?

Think about it :D

Easter Weekend

Thanks to a nice friend from church, this year will be my first time experiencing the entire Easter Triduum! I've been to Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services but on Saturday night tonight, it will be my first time attending Easter Vigil!!

I am really excited and very thankful to God for staying close to me today. It was a mini adventure today! I slept just past midnight on Good Friday after saying the rosary. Woke up early in the morning and at noon, I walked to The Oratory for confession only to find out that confession times were a bit different for Holy Week. So I wasted an hour and found myself back at my flat. I couldn't sit still though, so at 1.30 pm I rushed out again to make it for the 2pm confession which turned out to be fruitful! Next, I headed to the Chaplaincy at 3pm for Good Friday Mass with everyone else. There was the passion for the gospel and the Veneration of the Cross.

I was a bit dehydrated today so I drank lots of water. In past years, I could do without. I reached home around 4.30 pm and tried to study for a bit. At 6.30pm, I contemplated on the Stations of the Cross and finally broke my fast at 7pm. It was indeed a great Good Friday! I really could feel that God was helping me through the day, given how much I love food, it was no small task. Thank you Jesus!

Easter Vigil tomorrow! I'm really excited!!

Acceptance

I find it hard to believe that someone can stop loving someone else in just the blink of an eye. No matter how hard I try to understand, I can see no end to the puzzling scenario. Yet, I have experienced it. Viewing it from a narrow perspective (ie. through my own eyes), I fail to see how selfishness is the root to this evil. But now, I realize that the true nature of being selfish enables such a thing to happen. I have been selfish in the past as well. It leads to one being insensitive to the well-being of others. How very sad. People could do a lot better if they learned how to cherish what they have :)

The Dangers of Online Social Networking

Believe it or not, social networking sites such as Facebook (FB), Twitter, MySpace or the now obsolete Friendster bring a lot of subtle degradation to a human. I first heard of such a comment from the head of the TOK department at the IB World School where I used to study. The honourable lady could not tolerate the idea of youngsters having these accounts. Previously, I have met even more mature young and olDER (;p) individuals who refuse to get involved in all the FB hoo-haa.

I've listed a few bad points below:

1. FB can be used to seek attention. Undeniably, when people post up pictures of themselves, they often filter them first to choose the ones that 'beautify' them the most, according to how they would like other people to perceive them.

2. FB can instill jealousy, inferiority and negative competitiveness. How many of us use FB to stalk the profiles of our peers or people unknown to us? It's like a dictionary with people's names as entries instead of words! Someone may be enourmously popular on FB, with a lot of photogenic pictures, tons of friendly comments and great achievements. What kind of thoughts will this instill into a person who has low self esteem? FB has now become a tool of secret comparison! It's sad because each of us are made in the image of God and we are all differently unique to Him. Why should we compare and contrast each other online and be miserable afterwards. Self worth is important! As it is true that one should use FB with precaution, some would blame people who get affected as 'weak'. Agreeably, we should know how to cherish ourselves but sometimes, an individual would not realize how he or she is destroying their own self worth by their mindless surfings through the site.

3. FB diminishes the value of privacy. How many times have we seen MSN-like conversations on our friend's walls? How many times have we seen emotional personal statuses on our Home page? Isn't it the norm to see our friends kissing and cuddling on FB? I've even seen a cat fight take place on FB and slurs against each other on the site. People use it to VENT! But some things are better kept to oneself. The world doesn't need to know if you've done the most noblest thing, or if someone has just hurt you deeply. It's alright if the posts are mild, but sometimes, they are used to hurt other people back, retaliate in the spirit of revenge, spread gossip, make others jealous, etc. My point is, FB should not be used for the wrong intentions, yet it seems like the perfect place for those intentions whenever our emotions are unstable.


This is not a pros and cons high school essay. The pros of FB are all too obvious. It helps to connect the world, establishes 'death of distance', helps family and friends communicate and keep abreast of each other, network in the job market, build relationships etc. Yes, there are the good points. But there are the bad as well. Use FB with a pinch of salt.

I recently read somewhere that people who are virtuous or those who believe strongly in religion do not use FB in a negative manner because they have something greater that matters a lot to them. They do not derive confidence from the world but rather, seek it from their inner self or God.

Sad to say, I am not in the most recently mentioned category. Admittedly, I am a sad owner of an FB account myself! There is a long way for me to go, but at least I am aware of how there is so much more out there, away from the world of online social networking.

Trusting God

Many things have happened lately that have instilled a lot of fear in me. Severe things have happened to a fellow university student, my best friend and myself lately that I have been driven to an all time low. But God has somehow stayed tightly by my side. I put my two hands together and thank Jesus for not abandoning me. I thank you God for staying by my side :)

Growing Up

Sometimes, I wonder what maturity really is. When I speak to someone who has a strong personality, I am often inclined to believe that whatever that person says is right. It could be the case that I'm too easily persuaded, with no backbone of my own, or that that person has such a strong projection of his/her opinion that what they say seems 'right'.

I realized an important lesson today however, which is the power of keeping silent when someone hurts you. Silence in a way, is a sign of maturity. Whenever someone hurts you, the immediate reaction for most people is to lash back, retaliate, return hurt for hurt. The person who feels victimized often wants to get even, or more than even. This is not the way of Christ. The mention of spirituality brings me to my next important point. If God is in one's heart, then all these slurs do not matter anymore, all these hurts are nothing. God will heal, He will handle everything. Hence, maturity comes from God.

I have been pondering on independence for quite a while. I wish to be more independent, more acute to my surroundings. Currently, I am surrounded by a web of comfort and I wish to break free, I want to find my own place in this world!

Please give me some space :D

I somehow feel a bit annoyed when I feel that other people copy my behaviour too closely. Although everyone has a spirit of competitiveness in them, it is often pressing when a certain someone copies me all too closely and obviously. It is a good thing if I take it as if I have a positive influence on others but I am no saint.

Whenever I emulate this person in some ways, this person is always quick to point out that I copied her. But I try my best to refrain from pointing out how obviously she follows my traits. The special friends that I treasure and share special connections with also have to be shared with this person now. I feel slightly intruded. My actions and friends are being invaded...shared out. I am not trying to be selfish although in essence it really is selfish, but I just need to be an individual sometimes. A person who is defined by her own terms!

I am not willing to share out everything with this other person. Please stop copying my actions and lead your own life with your own confidence. Believe in yourself and try to map out your life your way =) I feel as though you're trailing along my path when I am trying to venture out on my own, build my own blocks.

Sharing is caring but we can't share everything.