Easy

Way out, or way on. That is how I would describe my ways. I always look for an easy path to run away from my problems or drag myself on through life. I shun challenges, appear reticent and passive to my surroundings, in so much that I disgust myself. Looking back at my old self, I see a happy spirit, hopping from flower to flower happily with much gusto and delight, laughter and light. That was a carefree past but I am an adult now, accountable for my own actions and thoughts. I have decided that no one should intimidate me anymore, or cast a lowly eye on me, for I am a child of the darkness and shadows, one who has been thrown into an abyss momentarily, before being brought out again, albeit charred. These days are covered in the shadows of existential confusion. A kind soul has shown me much care, but I see past all those. As if from a detached position whereby I am a lonely figure-decked in a beret and boring checkered dress coat, I watch the unfolding of a sad story of longing before my very eyes because I know the ending. There I stand, still and silent, staring at a scene in black and white. Stupid and hopeless, raw and inexperienced. You've not been where I have been. The film is rolling still but an all encompassing tragic has separated our worlds. Mine is black and white but you still have all the colours of the rainbow. Bless you.