All my life, I grew up surrounded by Muslim friends. They have this old adage, "Humans can plan, but it is God who decides". These words can never be truer. People plan for different reasons. Some plan because they have high expectations of themselves and they are motivated by success. Some plan because they have dreams to fulfill. Some plan because they were born organized. There are a myriad of reasons as to why a person would plan.
God often plays a game of irony. Sometimes it can seem wicked but all He does is love us. He loves us so much that He alone decides what is good for us, all for His own reasons. I have detached myself from God for a long time now, I feel as though I have lost His strong presence in my heart. Worldly worries have taken its toll on me and I am eager to retrace my steps, to listen to His voice buried deep within me.
Recently, I have been betrayed. And this betrayal brought with it a disturbing lost of direction and meaning in life. Nevertheless, it is also a reminder that I am lost now because I shook God away. But lo and behold, He never left my side, not for a single second. He breathes into my being, making me stronger than ever. He is calling me back to His side, the lost little sheep.
Thank you Jesus for always being there for me. Please take care of my beloved family for through them, I believe in You. I am who I am today because of my family. Please bless them Lord =)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saudade
"Congratulations Lucy, I have a gift for you!" Those were the words spoken by God to me. I heard them in the dead of the night.
He came silently to repay me for the many times in which I was unkind, heartless, dependent and selfish. The gift He brought was a retribution for all the past wrongs I have committed. Being an ever forgiving Father, I can clearly see that it's a gift afterall. It is the time now to teach myself to be kind, full of heart, independent and selfless.
Is it not amazing how fickle life can seem at times? How random everything is? Strong feelings get washed in gradual waves, people come and go, everything moves, motion dominates. If you close your eyes and run from reality for an extended period of time, upon your return, everything is different. You got your moment alone while you were away, but upon returning, you have been forgotten.
Promises are just words, spoken for reassurance. Only God, family and true friends are forever true to you.
He came silently to repay me for the many times in which I was unkind, heartless, dependent and selfish. The gift He brought was a retribution for all the past wrongs I have committed. Being an ever forgiving Father, I can clearly see that it's a gift afterall. It is the time now to teach myself to be kind, full of heart, independent and selfless.
Is it not amazing how fickle life can seem at times? How random everything is? Strong feelings get washed in gradual waves, people come and go, everything moves, motion dominates. If you close your eyes and run from reality for an extended period of time, upon your return, everything is different. You got your moment alone while you were away, but upon returning, you have been forgotten.
Promises are just words, spoken for reassurance. Only God, family and true friends are forever true to you.
Friday, June 4, 2010
What if your best isn't enough?
When people ask this question, I often find myself not relating but after today's exam, I started doubting myself, my abilities, my all. I try so hard sometimes but get to nowhere and it is indeed hard to keep myself from feeling a tad bit depressed. However, the sunshine in me is still there and I hope that God will not leave me. I do need Him the most when I am trying to hold on and not, never give up.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Being Strong
Sometimes when we're in the midst of exams, we know we've not done a paper as well as others but the only thing to do is to keep strong! It's not wrong for others to be happy and cheerful for a good paper and although it is mighty hard to be happy along with them, the best thing is to hold your head up high and strive for the next paper! JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!! Having your own sunshine in your heart is a lovely thing! Only the presence of God and his Holy Spirit in you can help you achieve such a positive state.
Monday, February 15, 2010
A Visit from Henry
Henry came to visit today! It was fun =) Hx and I made some sweet potato cookies for him. They tasted quite nice although there was this peculiar 'breadish' sort of feel to them.
Henry told us about Craydon park, which looks good in the snow. He lives somewhere near Wandsworth, which is near to Wimbledon. We found out that tickets to watch the show are priced around GBP25! That is kind of shocking because I think they should be more expensive. Apparently, when you drive a car in London before 6pm, there will be congestion charges at a ridiculously crazy price of GBP28! I was so shocked to find out. However, if you get some other deal like a monthly pass for example, life would be much easier and driving a better experience. =S I didn't know all these things.. I am pretty ashamed of myself, living in London for almost 2 years now and not being aware of these things.
Henry went to watch Iron Man last weekend. It was absolutely funny when I teased him saying that he must have selected that movie, instead of letting Georgia, his daughter do so =P I hope to meet Georgia one day. Up to now, I know she's 13 years old, loves to sing, is a naughty little procrastinator, and is an absolute darling! I know Henry loves her a lot! =)
I was thrilled to find out more about Henry's country of origin, Jamaica. Apparently, English is their first language, although Spanish is taught in schools as well. It's quite interesting to know that.
Henry and Georgia goes swimming sometimes in the weekend, which when mentioned, got me to admit that I can't swim nor float myself!! I told him I would like to go to the Red Sea and just lie down on the waters and he told me he's been to Israel before! On a pilgrimage to the Holy Land! I wish I could bring mommy there next time. He said the food is amazing, the weather super hot, and the sights splendid!!!! I didn't know Israel could be a good place to visit. =D One less thing now of me not knowing. Hehe..
Today was a good day XD
Henry told us about Craydon park, which looks good in the snow. He lives somewhere near Wandsworth, which is near to Wimbledon. We found out that tickets to watch the show are priced around GBP25! That is kind of shocking because I think they should be more expensive. Apparently, when you drive a car in London before 6pm, there will be congestion charges at a ridiculously crazy price of GBP28! I was so shocked to find out. However, if you get some other deal like a monthly pass for example, life would be much easier and driving a better experience. =S I didn't know all these things.. I am pretty ashamed of myself, living in London for almost 2 years now and not being aware of these things.
Henry went to watch Iron Man last weekend. It was absolutely funny when I teased him saying that he must have selected that movie, instead of letting Georgia, his daughter do so =P I hope to meet Georgia one day. Up to now, I know she's 13 years old, loves to sing, is a naughty little procrastinator, and is an absolute darling! I know Henry loves her a lot! =)
I was thrilled to find out more about Henry's country of origin, Jamaica. Apparently, English is their first language, although Spanish is taught in schools as well. It's quite interesting to know that.
Henry and Georgia goes swimming sometimes in the weekend, which when mentioned, got me to admit that I can't swim nor float myself!! I told him I would like to go to the Red Sea and just lie down on the waters and he told me he's been to Israel before! On a pilgrimage to the Holy Land! I wish I could bring mommy there next time. He said the food is amazing, the weather super hot, and the sights splendid!!!! I didn't know Israel could be a good place to visit. =D One less thing now of me not knowing. Hehe..
Today was a good day XD
Friday, February 12, 2010
Happiness!
Today is a happy day. Ok, that was a total LIE. Today was an extremely, exceedingly, enormously HAPPY day!!!
1. Henry gave me a box of chocolates and lifted me off the floor in a hug. He totally is a father figure to me. Sayang him alot!
2. I was supposed to sell 10 Valentines lollies today, and the unknown professor I really like bought the 9th/10th for me! And so I completed my sales target!!!
3. My boss got me a Valentine lolly as a reward, just as she promised. And I ended up with 2 lollies now! Can't wait to give one to Deer!
4. I had an amazing lunch of nasi briyani with Khan and another pHd student, which was AWESOME!!! There was lamb and egg and carrots in the fragrant rice. It was so sinful!
5. Make-up and shorts issues Mnite costumes are settled! Plus a GBP1.60 to be spent by my housemate.
6. Deer will be arriving in 45 minutes!!
7. Baking session later!
8. CNY and Valentine's on the same day soon!!!
9. I can call home soon!
10. I got a placement!!!!
1. Henry gave me a box of chocolates and lifted me off the floor in a hug. He totally is a father figure to me. Sayang him alot!
2. I was supposed to sell 10 Valentines lollies today, and the unknown professor I really like bought the 9th/10th for me! And so I completed my sales target!!!
3. My boss got me a Valentine lolly as a reward, just as she promised. And I ended up with 2 lollies now! Can't wait to give one to Deer!
4. I had an amazing lunch of nasi briyani with Khan and another pHd student, which was AWESOME!!! There was lamb and egg and carrots in the fragrant rice. It was so sinful!
5. Make-up and shorts issues Mnite costumes are settled! Plus a GBP1.60 to be spent by my housemate.
6. Deer will be arriving in 45 minutes!!
7. Baking session later!
8. CNY and Valentine's on the same day soon!!!
9. I can call home soon!
10. I got a placement!!!!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Taking pieces of me away
I just watched the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy, the 13th episode of the latest season. There was a part towards the end, when Yang told Mr. Red Head that her previous fiancee took bits and parts of herself away. She loved him but he stripped her off her true self and she changed into something else, thus losing herself in the process. She was being unconsciously pushed towards self submission to her lover. Isn't that sad? What a reflection of something which can happen to anyone of us!
When we love someone, we might give up things that are important to us because we're too busy being in a relationship. Our goals might turn vague, cloudy and distant. I loved the intelligent way the scriptwriters portrayed this. Although GA is peppered with promiscuity and random relationships between the characters, it still does touch on relationships in a most interesting manner. Literature and film are good ways to reach out to the mass public about psychology. Ah, how reminiscent is this! Just like my TOK topic in the year 2008. Memories!
When we love someone, we might give up things that are important to us because we're too busy being in a relationship. Our goals might turn vague, cloudy and distant. I loved the intelligent way the scriptwriters portrayed this. Although GA is peppered with promiscuity and random relationships between the characters, it still does touch on relationships in a most interesting manner. Literature and film are good ways to reach out to the mass public about psychology. Ah, how reminiscent is this! Just like my TOK topic in the year 2008. Memories!
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